The Coughing Fit of the Cheeseball Redux

The tall building loomed over the construction on the interstate. The fifth consecutive year of construction on the same spot of interstate. When construction finished to improve the interstate in 6 months they will start construction again. Inside the tall building the sounds of nothing echoed in the halls and one man secretly shut down his computer circa 1981. The man had enjoyed playing pong but the sheer joy was when he found the code to make the ball green. Of course with his monochrome green monitor he could not really tell but he knew, oh yes, he knew.
He slid his wool briefcase his Uncle had left him in his 1971 automobile. The automobile sat outside in the parking lot. The man knew the briefcase and the automobile yearned to be reunited. He leaned left on his chair, cringing at the creaks his chair made, and stared down the empty halls. He leaned back then shot his head back out the hallway. He thought he saw movement but it was only his mind playing that late Friday game it enjoyed.
He checked the clock on the wall. It read: 6:58 pm.
The small portly man got down in the sprinter's stance ready for when the clock struck 6:59. He was making a risky move but he was leaving a minute early from work. He glanced at the camera monitors to his right. The camera's were panning to the entrance of the parking lot. He could use this to get to his car.
The second hand passed the giant 10 on the clock. The man tucked his briefcase under his left arm. The clock struck 6:59...
The man bolted out the office and slid down the hall swirling his head left and right. He came to the IT main office door and leaped to the ground. He crawled on his belly passed the empty cubicles and used his nose to open the door. In one motion he slid out the door and used his right foot to slowly close the door with barely a click.
The big glass doors stared the man down with the fading sunshine coming through the doors. The man knew this was the trickest part. He took three deep breaths and rose to his feet. He took another deep breath and did a quick walk on his tip toes to the door. The entire way muttering himself, "No matter the sound, do not look back!"
He hit the door with his right shoulder and was out into the parking lot. Once on the concrete stairs he leapt into the prickly green bush to hide. He didn't like this part and he would be picking out thorns until next Thursday but it was part of the plan. He crawled out of the bush on his stomach and across the empty parking lot. He shot up and stood rigid behind the light post. Another quick breath and a dash to the truck of his car and in one motion slid under the car.
He laid the wool briefcase on his chest and opened it up. He pulled out the celery stick he had saved from lunch. He snapped the briefcase closed and wiggled his way to the driving's side door. He used his left foot to open the hatch and he slinked into his car and slouched to hide from the cameras. He quickly fastened his seatbelt and took a bite of the celery stick. He turned the key in the ignition which he had left in the car early this morning. The car sputtered to life and he tried to back the car out of the parking lot without being noticed.
Once clear he raised his hands in trimuph and headed for the crowded interstate.
It was 7:15 pm.

The Coughing Fit of the Cheeseball

The short man tipped toed across the empty parking lot. It was 6:59 on a Friday night. He didn't want his supervisors to know he was sneaking out a minute early. He stopped at his red, blue, black, green, white, brown, an uglier green, and rust sedan and opened his briefcase on his trunk. He looked around to make sure no one was watching. He quickly pulled out what he wanted and slammed the briefcase shut again. He got down on his hands and knees and slid the briefcase off the trunk. He crawled on his belly to the driver's side door and cracked it. He slid in scrapping his knees, belly, and forehead. He sat lower than the window and started the car. To the untrained eye it looked like the car was moving on its own out of the parking lot. Once clear of the building and the parking lot the man sat up and ate the celery stalk he pulled from his briefcase. He cheered as he drove away down the street...It was 7:04.

If I were there then I wouldn't be here...

He swung his cape behind him for dramatic effect. He didn't have to look at the crowd to know the trick had worked. The damp narrow stone walls stretched in both directions for 3 miles and neither end took you any where. He smiled knowing he had chosen the perfect location. He heard the faint footsteps coming. It was time. He reached under his brown dirty cape and pulled out a pug dog.

He thrust it over his head as he turned, "I have the pug dog that has long been searched for!" He shouted.

The gasps nearly sucked him off the mini-stage he had built.

"With this I shall..." He uttered the beginning of the famous prophecy. He felt a small tingle in the side of his throat and fell to the ground. The poor man's magician never saw the well dressed man with a clean brown cape walk up and take the pug dog.

The well dressed man rubbed the pug dog, "With this I shall..." He whispered. He spun on the balls of his feet and stared the crowd down until they cleared a space for him to walk. The footsteps of Ambrose Hemicott faded before the crowd robbed the magician of any valuables he had.


The bus rolled to a stop in front of the town bakery. Herb climbed out of the bus and headed into the bakery. He had enjoyed the scone Violet had given him but that only made him want more scones. The smell filled the bakery and Herb took a deep breath to let the aroma seep into his lungs. He frowned when the smell of over priced coffee snuck into his nose and kept out the smell of beautiful scones. Herb let his eyes fall on the man with the over priced coffee.

The man was looking back at him, "I was waiting for you. I ordered you some scones." The man motioned to the plate in front of him. "I am your friend. You may call me Calvin. Please, take a seat. I have much to tell you." He pulled a briefcase out of thin air, "I have been waiting years for this."

Herb took his seat and a scone.


Miki entered his home and instantly hated the color of the living room. "Who paints a living room Mint?" He asked dropping his brown bag lunch.

"A woman whose husband hasn't been home in years. Save the speech," She put up her hand, "I have known this day would come and I know you had to do what you did. But the walls stay Mint."

Miki nodded knowing he couldn't win the argument.

"Where is Violet?" He asked.

"The safest place for her...school. She'll be home in 5 hours then you and her can save the world. You should make yourself comfortable."

Miki wanted to say something to apologize but the words failed to enter his mind. He felt the presence of the pug dog.


Violet sat in reading class wishing for something more fun. She did not like having to pick a book out to do a book report on. Plus it was due on Thursday.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Someone yelled.

The Stock Exchange

Violet's father, Miki, held his ears as his fellow co-workers yelled at each other. Miki didn't understand why but he would happily join in the yelling. He also liked to tell any woman he met that he worked on Wall Street. The closing bell rang. Like everyday before it brought on a flashback, a flashback with commericals.

"Hello, boss. This is Miki. I can not come into work today because I am dead." Miki hung up the phone rolled over and whispered to his wife, "I won't be home tonight and for several years."

"Typical," Violet's wife moaned and pulled the covers up higher.

"Welcome," A man said over his steaming hot of coffee in the over priced downstairs kitchen. "Are you ready for your mission?"

Miki nodded.

The man took a sip of coffee, "Mocha Mocha Mocha Mocha is some good coffee." He opened a briefcase that appeared out of nowhere, "You're mission which you can not refuse..." The two stared at each other, "Is to take this piece of mail to the downtown Phoenix, Arizona post office and put this piece of mail in a blue mailbox."

Sweat poured onto the forehead. "I think...I think I can handle that." He took the piece of mail. He turned the blue letter envelope in his hand. "I proudly accept this mission." He exited the door and headed for the airport.

A man bumped into Miki returning him from his flashback. It was the man from the flashback. He had another cup of coffee in his hand. He smiled at Miki. "You are ready to return home and save the world."

Miki grabbed his brown bag packed lunch and headed for the airport to head home.

The Evil Side of the Story

Ambrose Hemicott paced his five room manision with 1 and a half bath. The garden hose hung over the side of the kiddie swimming pool. Ambrose smiled knowing in a few hours he could go swimming. But he mind was on the breaking events of the morning.
"So, a new hero has been named? And her name is Violet." Ambrose rubbed his chin, "Well, I have to find the pug dog before she does so I can rule the western part of town." Ambrose laughed thinking of his semi-un-nice plan.
"You are truly semi-un-nice, sir." Some servant said handing Ambrose his Supery Sugary Brightly Colored Cereal.
"I know." Ambrose said laughing with fat free milk dripping down his chin.

Meanwhile back at the school, Violet was stuck in PE staring down a dodge ball headed at her head.

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Someone yelled.

The Plot Thickens Like Oatmeal

The bus pulled up in front of Violet. She took several quick breaths before the bus doors opened. The bus driver smiled at her as she climbed aboard. Danny waved for her to sit next to him. She looked down the long bus of unhappy faces. She took the seat next to Danny.

"Scone?" Violet asked the driver.

Herb's face lit up as he took the scone. "Oh, its still warm," He moaned as he took a big bite.

"I got another lizard over the weekend. I'm going to ask my dad tonight if I can get a spider...a big one," Danny explained. "Then I think I'll try to convince my dad next to get me a giraffe."

Herb maneuvered the bus over the town's potholes in front of the school. He only hit 7 out of 127. The children and the bus shook with each pothole. The bus pulled in front of the school's doors. Violet could see her white haired homeroom teacher standing with his arms folded in front of his long white beard.

"I know he is a wizard," Violet thought as she climbed off of the bus.

"I'm not a wizard Violet. Please stop thinking it," Mr. Calnoff said greeting the arriving children.

"I got a lizard," Danny said.

"That's wonderful," Mr. Calnoff said as he shut the door on Danny's face.

"I want to get a big spider next," Danny yelled through the glass door.

Violet pushed through the taller children to get to her locker next to the Cooking classroom. She normally enjoyed the smell coming from the room except today it was the smell of scones. She slammed the locker closed and pushed through the taller kids again to get to her homeroom and the wizard Mr. Calnoff.

As the children parted in the hall she saw someone she had never seen before. A brown haired boy that had leapt from her dreams. She could swear that she had dreamt of him the night before. Her heart leapt as she fell in love. He looked at her with those deep brown eyes and smiled. Violet smiled for the first time that day which usually didn't happen until lunch. She walked into homeroom with dreamy hearts in her eyes.

"After the giraffe I'm not sure what to get. A bear. I could get a grizzly or a polar bear." He paused for a moment, "Those are the only bears I know. I could get a duck but a bear is scarier."

The two took their seat as the bell rang and Mr. Calnoff entered the room. A tall thin man with glasses entered behind him. The tall man smiled at Violet and nodded to the other students. Mr. Calnoff began roll call as the tall thin man leaned down next to Violet and whispered, "You are the chosen one to save the world."

Violet groaned, "Typical."

Herb the Bus Driver

Herb shook as the bus back fired again. The bus was 34 years old but Herb knew if he gave it enough TLC he could get it to run for another 5 years. He pushed the side window open with both hands and leaned out the window.

"Come on, Bessie! Push a little harder. I have to pick up the children for school. I can't be late!"

Herb leaned back in and shoved the gas pedal to the floor. The bus backed fired two more times, jerked forward, and began its gentle slid down the steep hill.

"Come on bussy," Herb whispered guiding the bus away from the on coming trees. "I know. I didn't want to get up this morning either. I would have liked to stay under the covers. But come on, once we start the day it won't be so bad."

The bus's engine started to roar to life. Herb celebrated as he coasted out onto the busy street. The horns of the on coming cars didn't bother him. He was use to it and rather enjoyed the sound. He gently pressed down the gas and the bus chugged down the street heading for its first stop. Herb was excited until...

"You forgot your scones," Bessie yelled from the top of the hill.

Herb swore and swerved the bus back between the lines. A few more honks filled the air.

Herb and the bus crested the hill before the town square. Herb grimaced when he saw the first child he had to pick up. He slid the bus in front of the child and prayed the bus would go again after the stop.

Herb tried to open the door but it was stuck. The little blonde haired boy stared up at the driver. Herb pulled harder on the handle but the door was stuck. The little blonde haired boy banged on the door.

"Ain't you gonna let me in?" The little boy asked, "I got lots of stories to tell you."

Herb yanked the handle one more time and wished for his forgotten scones. The door jerked open and the little blonde haired boy climbed aboard. He took his seat behind Herb.

"So, when I got of the bus last Friday I went into my house to find my pet lizard. You remember me telling you about my pet lizard Thomas. Well, he wasn't in his cage. It was a glass cage my father and I built together like three summers ago. I searched my room and I thought my mommy was going to yell at me..."

Herb closed the bus doors. Only 28 more children to go. The bus jerked once, twice and then Herb pulled out into the on coming traffic to more honks.

"It turns out my father had come home early from work and had taken him to get him a bigger cage because they were buying me another lizard. I named the new one Thomas 2 until Mommy told me that it was a girl. So, I changed the name to Tammy."

Herb groaned wishing for some scones.

"Then I was watching TV. I saw this cartoon where..."

Herb turned at the town square and the smell of the fresh baked scones from the town's bakery filled the air. He made a promise to himself to come back after his dropping the children off. He checked his watch as he went over the train tracks. Twenty minutes until he picked up the last child then 10 more minutes until school. He'd be at that bakery by 7:47 am. Herb smiled to himself as he thought of the time. He missed being an airline pilot but since retiring driving the bus filled the void.

Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo...

"VIOLET!!!"

The porcelain pug dogs on the fourteen-year-old girl's headboard shook from the force of the shout.

"GET DOWN HERE!"

Violet groaned, then pushed herself up out of bed. She brushed a shiny purple lock of hair from out of her eyes and squinted in the bright sun coming through her blinds. It couldn't be as late as she thought it was...

"HURRY UP! THESE SCONES ARE GETTING COLD AND YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!"

Violet groaned once more, pushed the rumpled covers off of her legs, and swung herself around, putting her feet on the floor. She yawned, stretched, and stood up. She noticed her "Purple Brigade" pyjamas were starting to get a little tight. Well she had grown a few inches over the summer, she thought, and these are a few years old. She grabbed the handle to her lavender-colored bedroom door --

-- and the door flung open, and a middle-aged women in a smart business suit stared down at Violet.

"YOUNG LADY! FOR THE LAST TIME, GET DOWNSTAIRS!"

A pug dog fell gently onto Violet's unfluffed pillow.

"Mom, geez, I'm coming, I'm coming..."

Violet's mom grabbed Violet by the arm and tugged her through the door and down the stairs. Family portraits whizzed by in a blur. The two stepped onto the landing and turned into the smart-looking kitchen. A plate of scones sits on the counter, with two scones sitting in the center and crumbs dotting the rest of the surface. Violet walked up to the round kitchen table, plopped down, and her mom put the plate in front of Violet.

"Eat, eat! Then take a quick shower and...oh, you're still wearing *those*?"

Violet scrunched her eyebrows. "Yes, I'm still wearing 'those'. You know I like 'those'."

Violet's mom sighs. "Fine, fine, whatever. Just eat! The bus will be here in twenty minutes! And I'm not driving you to school again!" She goes over to the counter and flips open her smartly-designed laptop, tapping at the keyboard and concentrating heavily.

Violet eats the scones. They were cold. Nothing was worse than a cold scone. Well, OK, there was one thing worse...but she didn't like to think about it. She forced the scones down, which without milk is nearly impossible, and trudged upstairs to her room to get her clothes for the day.